I attempted to write this blog 5 times and each one felt too unauthentic, too clinical for something so personal. And then this Coronavirus hit the consciousness of the world to a degree that created a new sense of my own health awareness. And I decided one night to just write what I was feeling at the moment. Sometimes you just have to be open, vulnerable, and personal…And here it is, Happy Birthday to me.
I turned 60 last month
60. That number just didn’t resonate with how I felt.
Being in this body, in this season of my life, experiencing changes I anticipated for so long, and having felt let down.
I tried to rationalize, and even overthink this state in which I found myself.
Why did I feel so disconnected? The mirror reflected something different than I expected.
My soul groaned for more, ached for sustenance and my spirit expected to be filled.
So, I did something new. I allowed myself to feel all the feels of this state I found myself in.
I let them wash over me and endured the shitty along with the exuberant.
I was curious because I wanted to know how it really felt to be here. To have arrived in such a phenomenal place and not be afraid of where it could take me.
The exact day I came into this world 60 years ago had its own conditions. Conditions that I carried throughout my life.
So, on this day, 60 years later, I dismissed them all. I gave them back to those who placed them on me.
No anger, fear, guilt, animosity, judgment.
I eased into the day with compassion as I meditated and prayed for clarity and patience.
Life is never a road that is always smoothly paved. And it rarely takes one this far without some detours and reconstruction.
Aging is a gift of survival. Of having weathered the challenges life throws your way and standing tall in the face of all possible calamities.
So, here I stand, ready and willing to face the next 60 years with a renewed faith and expectancy of even greater challenges.
A soul ready to be expanded, a spirit to be unleashed, and a body strong enough to write the next chapter.
There it is, me as raw as I can be on my birthday. Have you felt something similar as a birthday or anniversary approached? Or are you feeling it now as a result of an uncertain health crisis? How have you dealt with letting yourself be vulnerable? Safety within one’s own sense of strength allows you to conquer any and everything. So go out and be Unbreakable!
I would love to continue this conversation with you. Want to read the other reasons you might say no to help? You can watch the video on this blog over at my YouTube channel. Also, if this hits home for you, and you would like to chat further, take a second and schedule a first-time consultation call with me.